Being an auntie

On the chilly day of 10 July 2015, my niece, Ayah, was born. I officially became an auntie. It was such an honour and a blessing. There is nothing more joyful than holding Ayah in my laps and seeing her smile at me. There is nothing more painful than seeing Ayah in the hospital bed, tired and sick.  And there is nothing more amazing than watching Ayah looking at the world around her with such excitement and curiosity. Just as her name suggests, Ayah is really a sign of God. Through her, I understand how Allah has always bestowed us with mercy and sustenance  since the days we are born. He prepares us a package of food and milk from the mother’s breasts; He gradually gives us the capacity to watch, absorb information, make sense of things and learn. Watching Ayah learn to crawl and stand up makes me realise how I have taken simple actions like walking, smiling or clapping hands for granted. Oh Allah, you are indeed the Most Powerful, The Most Wise!

However, I don’t think I have fulfilled the duties of an auntie properly. What should aunties do? My parents keep telling me to help my sister, but to be honest, I do not have much free time. I’m also struggling with several things, including my jobs, ,my constant failures with the English test, my messy application for permanent residency, my thesis, my low-self esteem and depression. I do not even feel like I can look after myself or anyone, nor do I know what I should do to look after a baby.

In sum, I am a useless auntie. But I have and will always keep Ayah in my prayers. May she always be healthy, active and lovely. Ayah, you parents have so much hope in you. I have lots of hope, too.